(This is a reprint of a post I wrote in Spring 2012)
I love Spring! It is my favorite season!
Birds chirping, trees budding, flowers blooming,warm days and nights with the windows open. What is not to love? Well, if you ask Joe Cool there is NOTHING to love right now.
I recently talked about Joe Cool and the quips he comes up with. However, right now he has no quips. He is mopey, and moody and downright droopy. Why you ask? How is it possible to be droopy during this fabulous beautiful season?
After all, this is the season of LOVE? Spring fever, when everyone comes out of their little boxes called houses and starts to enjoy the warm weather. Humans, animals, everyone gets in on the emergence. Bears hibernate in caves, and I think sometimes humans hibernate in our houses during the winter. When the weather gets cold we hunker down and sit tight. Until Spring, then we come out of our caves blinking our eyes and shedding our layers.
But that is not this story. This story is about Joe Cool and why he is so mopey. He is mopey because he has recently suffered his first heartbreak.
Yes, my own sweet son is just plain heartbroken. Sad, mopey, droopy and just plain moody. In a word, he is just toefog.
He and his girlfriend (I will call her Ginger) of 16 months broke up the weekend after Valentine’s day. Although it was a mutual decision (according to Joe Cool), he still has feelings for Ginger and he just can’t seem to shake them. On a good note, I have raised a kid who is NOT a player and is true blue. On a downward note, this means he has a hard time letting go.
This is my first time dealing with teenaged heartbreak that isn’t my own. I have two biological children. Joe Cool who is almost 15 and The Genius who is almost 13. Lovely Bluebell has two biological children, The Girl, who is almost 20 and The Hunter who is 17.
Neither The Girl, nor The Hunter have had relationships while living with us (The Girl moved out on her own last summer after graduation). The Hunter is shy and hasn’t had a girlfriend yet. So we have not yet had to deal with our kids having a broken heart and the angst it brings.
I have tried to be supportive and explain to Joe Cool that yes it sucks, but in time he will feel better. I have encouraged him to invite friends over to play video games and have promised to feed them pizza and brownies. I have tried to keep him busy to keep his mind off of his broken heart, all to no avail. Yesterday when he came home from school he was particularly mopey. On the drive to guitar lessons I was able to pull out of him what was bothering him. He is very upset because Ginger apparently is interested in a new dude. Joe Cool has been “hanging around” her hoping that she will give him the time of day, but apparently she has moved on more quickly than he has…..
I remember being a teenager and all of the drama, angst and difficulty it brought. I remember having my heart broken. I remember being in love. I am one of those adults who believes teens can love each other and be in love. Granted it may not be a mature love, but I believe it is love nonetheless. Think about it those of you who are naysayers….your teen knows how to love you, and family members. So they know how to love. Why can’t they have those same deep feelings for a boyfriend or girlfriend their own age?????
I shared with him the story of my “first love” and how that boy had broken my heart and dumped me for a girl named Jill. (Those of you who went to school with me get three guesses who I am talking about). I told him how I had my “revenge” when after I graduated I ran into First Love boy and he wanted to date me again. I had the karmic joy of telling him, “dream on buddy.” That felt good. (He liked that story, he even had a little gleam in his eye.) His response was, “Yeah, when I am an Aerospace Engineer making the big bucks, she will be sorry.” I did NOT dissuade him, who am I to steal his dream????? (Ummmm, if she even remembers you dude, but okaaayy)…..
Using my most encouraging tone I talked to him about “giving Ginger her space”, and “hanging out with his bro’s instead”, and even “give it some time and it will get better.” He did seem to perk up. Especially when I pointed out all of Joe’s cool points and reminded him that “karma is a bitch”, and one day he would be on top of the world and Ginger might not. However, in my Glenda the Good Fairy way, I reminded him that if he truly is Ginger’s friend when she is down he will be there for her in a “friend” sort of way. He liked that. I think he liked the part where in his mind he had one up on Ginger, and she received her “comeuppance”, but whatever works…..he is only almost 15.
Cross your fingers this awesome weather and the sheer joy of Spring brings him out of his blues…….. I will let you know how it goes…….