I have kids.

I have three boys.

I have three teenaged boys.

They eat.

A LOT!

Most people go to the grocery store on a weekly basis.  Their grocery store is the Piggly Wiggly or the Food Lion, or Grand Union, or Farm Fresh…you know a regular grocery store.  Not me.  My grocery store is BJ’s, Costco, or Sam’s Club. You know, the huge wholesale clubs.  That is my weekly grocery shopping store.  I need to buy things in bulk.

For example, last week I bought a beautiful 6 pound London Broil.  I put it in the oven with some roasted garlic tomatoes and served it with macaroni and cheese (a family favorite), and mixed vegetables. When the kitchen was cleaned there was a small piece (about 6 ounces of meat) to be put away in the fridge for “leftover” night.  “Well”, you might say, “there are 5 of you eating, I could see that.”

I might agree with that also if  Bluebell and I had actually participated in eating the beef with the boys.  In fact, she and I are not big beef eaters, so we had grilled chicken.  That means that my three sons ate over 5 pounds of meat for dinner.  Besides the fact that their bellies must have been totally weighed down by all that beef, is the bigger concern of how eating all that beef affects my grocery bill……

Besides BJ’s, I also shop my local Harris Teeter almost weekly.  I am an E-Vic member, so I get weekly emails with their specials.  They very often have cereal, steaks, chips, bacon, etc as a “buy one get one free” item.  They also frequently have items on sale for “buy two get three free”  I have saved over $1500.00 already this year.  Yes that is one thousand five hundred dollars.  1 5 0 0……not 1 5 0.  I buy whatever is on sale that I need, and nothing more.  It is pretty bad when you walk into your local grocery store and the cashiers and management staff know you by name, and also know the fact that you are feeding three teenaged boys.

Thank god Bluebell has a great job as a Civil Service employee and we are both retired from the military and receive pensions.  Otherwise I might have to get another full time job just to feed my boys.

It is possible I have some passive aggressive bones in my body, and somewhere deep inside me I must have some subconscious resentment about my enormous grocery bill, because I feel the need to get back at my kids through food.
For example, I do my grocery shopping after lunch, so I can time it just right to get home right as their buses have dropped them off from school.  I require them to help me carry the groceries into the house, and then because apparently I must be a descendent of a torturer from the Inquisition (according to my kids), I make them carry the cat litter and feminine hygiene products up to my bathroom.  (Just imagine all of the groans I get about THAT……. it does my heart good)

I have to say though, that I was impressed my kids knew what the Inquisition was. So instead of  being angry at their comment, I was all, “Wow, you learned about that in school? I am so proud of you!  So glad you are using your education…even if it is to malign your mother.  Oh, you don’t know what that means, well, look it up sweetie…..”

So while my boys are still teenagers, I will be forced to continue to work, because as hard as I have tried, I just cannot get them to stop eating…….and don’t think I haven’t tried……..because I have……just sayin’………