You know people say that your best friend is the one who is supposed to know you best, be able to comfort you, be there for you etc etc etc. Blah blah blah. I think your best friend is the one who you can laugh at when they fail down, and then help them up, who you can be honest with and tell her that sweater is ugly. THAT is truly a best friend. This is a conversation I had last year with my BFF The NewYorRican!
I am taking 4 classes this semester and one of them is Abnormal Psychology. My assignment is to interview 5 people about their attitudes towards people with Mental Illness and then write a one page paper essay about my findings. I have been trying to interview my best friend The NewYorican for a few days, however, she and I have been going in different directions and I keep missing her.
Last Friday The NewYorican dropped off her kids, Little Man and Fairy when she had an early morning doctor’s appointment. I noticed Little Man had a stuffy nose and was sniffing a lot. When I dropped off Fairy and Little Man at school that morning, I made sure Little Man had some tissues in his pocket, and promptly forgot about it.
Yesterday, I finally pinned her down and she said she would walk over to my house after I returned home from work so I could interview her. She had to come to my house because not only were Little Man and Fairy home sick from school, but her older daughter Sparkle was home sick also. We had a text conversation before she came over and this is how it went:
Me: I am home now. Come on over for coffee.
NYR: Ok. Be right over.
Me: Oh, make sure you spray yourself down with Lysol before you come.
NYR: Are you freaking kidding me?
Me: I have a mask for you to wear when you get here. Did you see Contagion?
NYR: Ummmm, fuck you, and no I didn’t see that freaking movie!!
Me: Well, I have a gown for you, and gloves too.
NYR: Mad at you!
Me: You’ll get over it. ;-P
NYR: You are so fucked up.
Me: Just come over and shut the hell up.
NYR: Hell no, did you just try to get ghetto on me?
Me: I didn’t try…I succeeded. Just get your ass over here.
NYR: Ok, but remember I am tougher than you.
Me: True, but I can run faster and have more endurance…..
THAT is why I love The NewYorican. Best friends are the best. Remember she was willing to ride in a car with me when I was twitchy, and ALWAYS has my back. Even if it is because she is chasing me to kick my ass!
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him and whisper, “Seven days…”
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking, saying, “Walk much?”
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you’re okay when you’re crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, “Haha, loser!”
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella when it rains. A best friend takes yours and yells, “Run, bi***, run!”
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in the room next to you, saying, “That was awesome! Let’s do it again!”
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won’t tell anyone else that you cried.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the crowd’s butts for leaving you.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you that she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries with you.
A good friend will help you learn to drive. A best friend will help you roll the car into a lake so you can collect insurance.
A good friend will watch your pets when you go away. A best friend won’t let you go away.
A good friend will hide you from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they’re after you in the first place.