I am a mean mom!

Some women say they are mean moms if they haven’t baked cookies for their kids, or made their sandwiches in the shape of a heart.  I know some moms who make their kids’ sandwiches and then cut off the crusts, and THEN use heart shaped cookie cutouts….really??????

Some moms bake for their kids….some moms put little love notes in their kids lunches that THE MOMS pack.  Some moms wake their kids up with hugs and kisses, and cuddles.

I am NOT one of those moms.

I am the mom who sleeps in after the kids are already up. (They get up at 5:45 and have to walk out the door to the bus at 6:45.)  I get up at 6:15, so I do get up before they leave for school. That way I can give them a hug and tell them to have a great day.  But if they oversleep I throw open their doors, and say, “I am NOT driving you to school….get your butt out of bed and get ready”    However, I am not a complete ogre.  If  they are really running late, I will help them out by packing their lunch…..minus the love notes and WITH the crust on the bread…….

My point is, I am a mean mom.

I spanked my kids when they were little.  Although I have to admit spankings never worked with The Genius.  He would just look at me after a spanking with a “Is that all you got?” look.  For him it was time outs and taking away toys.,  That was much more effective for him.

I made them eat vegetables.  I would say to them, “Eat your green beans, or you will go to bed.”  And then I would put them to bed if they didn’t eat the green beans.

My 15 tear old does have a cell phone, however, he pays his own bill every month.  If he cannot pay his bill because he didn’t do his chores, he gets no phone.  It comes to me.  In my house if you can’t pay for your cell phone bill yourself, you don’t get a cell phone.

My kids don’t have tvs in their rooms.  They share a computer that is in the family room.  I block access to certain websites, and I monitor what they do on the computer.  I also read their texts and I know their Facebook passwords and check their messages.  Basically my kids have limited privacy.

I make them do chores, and pay them their “age” each week for completed chores.  So the 16 year old makes $16.00, the 14 year old $14.00, etc.  If they do not complete their chores for the day I do not pay them for that day.  Oh, and when the 16 year old gets a job I will stop his allowance, but he will still need to do some basic chores to contribute to the community in which he lives.  I figure if he eats my groceries, uses my electricity and hot water, he can empty the dishwasher and take out the trash……

I believe in tough love. I believe it is my job to turn these young, beautiful creatures who lack much in skills, common sense and responsibility into mature, respectful, responsible, capable human beings before I turn them loose on the world.  And I take my job very seriously.

In short, I am a meanie. So if you are a mean (which really means a caring, tough loving, turning them into responsible adults) parent, then unite with me!!!  We shall be honest about who we are and stand up for what we believe in!!!!!!  “Mean” is good!!

One thought on “I am a mean mom!

  1. I can tell you were in the military. I was a mild meanie. They had responsibilities and were grounded. But they could swear and yell and so could I. They were such great kids that for the most part they were respectful and only had one fight between them and that was in college and involved alcohol when the younger one went to the older one’s college and was embarrassing his older brother. I swore and so did they. I still do. They did have to pay for things or work towards things. They also were not handed everything by me but they had very liberal grandparents who sometimes made me invisible and went over my head. I was so young 22 when I had my first child, As I got older I got my voice and I was the mild meanie. I was more mean when they came home from college and charged them for everything when the younger one came home. I like what you are doing. I was a hugger and kisser, but no notes in lunch bags.

    1. Madge I am sure you were a meanie! I know because your kids grew up to be self sufficient men who are responsible adults! That does not happen without good parenting. It is okay to have fun with them too. I use bad language all the time. I know my kids do, but they don’t in my presence thank goodness. Hugging and kissing is also good. We do plenty of that around here….in between being mean. ;-P

  2. Please keep being a mean mom. I am one too and I need someone else to make me not feel so alone in my ‘mean’ style of parenting! I do many, many of the same things as you do: I don’t make my kids lunches, they do (and if they forget, too bad-go hungry until you get home), I don’t do their laundry, I have to have 24-hours notice on sleepovers, no XBox during the school week, if they forget homework/schoolwork at home…too bad, I’m not running it over to the school for you. I use the same idea for allowances as you (if you remember, you gave me that idea!) and if they don’t do their chores and don’t have enough money to pay for their cell-phones, then the cell phone is mine. I could go on…. It is hard sometimes to be this way, especially when I hear about how no one else’s parents are this way. Too bad, I want my kids to grow up being self-sufficient and responsible young adults. Someday they *will* thank me for being a meanie. At least that’s what I keep telling myself!

    1. Robyn! You are an amazing mother! Your kids are smart and self sufficient and polite and amazing! I know they didn’t get that way by themselves!!! I know you have an amazing husband, but since he travels for work, you end up carrying the load while he is away. You keep doing what you are doing! Your kids will thank you for it someday, AND they will be self sufficient adults. We can get together for coffee and support each other as we continue to be mean!!!

  3. I am also a mean mom. Unfortunately, their father is a “nice guy,” and we have clashed for years. My teens are all living with him now, with no rules. I know they’ll figure it out, eventually, but for now, it really hurts to be called names and rejected as a “controlling psycho” for maintaining rules in my household.

    1. Heather, I am sure you are not a psycho, but a mom who has high standards and rules for her kids. I am sure that someday they will see the truth for what it is and apologize! Stick to your guns and do the right thing. My kids dad is the “fun guy” too. When they go see him it is anything goes. Then I have to whip them back in to shape when they get home…sigh. A mother’s work is never done!

  4. Mean moms rock!! I had a mean mom and I am a mean aunt (would be a mean mom if I had kids). I have to forward this to some of my mean friends now. Thanks for a great read!

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