Last week I gave you a glimpse into my life with teenaged boys.
Today I had a conversation with my Wii Fit that had me saying WTF??
Let me set the scene for you: I came downstairs to see the boys off to school, and afterwards I decided to check my weight on the Wii Fit. So I get on the board, (Now I am going to warn you that the parts of the conversation that are me, I TRULY did say those things out loud to the tv.)
Hey don’t judge, I didn’t want to be rude, even if it was the tv…..
So I step on the Wii Fit and the conversation goes like this:
Wii: “Well good morning Carol. Are you feeling refreshed today?”
Me: “Yes thank you.”
Wii: “So, how is Bluebell doing? I haven’t seen her lately.”
me: “She’s fine.”
Then the Wii got all gossipy: “So how does Bluebell look to you?”
And the Wii gave me 4 options to choose from:
A. She looks the same
B. She looks skinnier
C. She looks bigger
D. I haven’t looked at her
I choose A because it is true.
THEN the Wii Fit thinks it is a relationship counselor and says: “Change is exciting don’t you agree? Maybe you should pay more attention to Bluebell.”
At that point, I was like, “Look here, I pay enough attention to Bluebell. Watch, I am going to call her and ask her. You’ll see, Missy!”
So I did. I called Bluebell.
I told her about the conversation I was having with the Wii and she laughed, and laughed……and laughed…… Really? I expected her to be all angry at the Wii, and immediately take my side. Nope….she thought it was the funniest thing she had heard all day. I was like, “Listen, I haven’t weighed yet, so I will talk to you later.” She was still laughing as I hung up.
So I turn back to the TV, hit the A button on the controller to move on to the next screen and THEN the Wii says to me: “On a side note did you know that dogs become more motivated if their owners pay attention to them?”
You have got to be kidding, now somehow it is MY fault that Bluebell looks the same??
I am NOT joking here people, I can’t even make this shit up. Example:
THEN, finally I weighed myself. And the Wii says, “Oh, you missed your goal. Do you want to make a new one? Maybe you need to work harder.”
Then I got all bad-ass and said: “Listen bitch, I think I have had enough of your smack talk today! I bought you, I own you, you are mine, and I don’t want any more sass from you!”
I was a tough bad-ass talker. However, my actions were different. After I yelled at the tv, I meekly and quietly put in a new goal.
And the saddest part is that I will do it again next week.
Watch this video. Comedian Kelly McCarron hits the nail on the head: