Monthly Archives: January 2017

Why do young folks sag their pants? My top 10 reasons!

I work with teenagers and young adults.

I live with teenagers and young adults.

I hang out with teenagers and young adults.

I actually pride myself on the fact that I can speak their language and tend to “get” them, (for the most part).  I like hanging out with them.  In fact, I find myself thinking about my own teenage-hood when I am hanging out with them.

My kids don’t read my blog and for that I am often grateful.  After all, since they don’t read the blog I can bad mouth them, talk shit about them, generally smear their names, or I can tell things about myself that I don’t necessarily want them to know.

So, back to my original point, which is that I feel that I “get” them for the most part.  I have learned not to share too much about me, but am able to get them to open up about themselves.  They seem to trust me. And even though my 19 year old always said I was the “best nag” about his homework when he was in high school, I NEVER embarrassed him in front of his friends, or gave him a hard time about his girlfriends.  I am one of those adults who believe that teens can experience true love, and have NEVER said to a teenager, “You don’t even know what love is”.  Of course they do.  They have the same feelings adults do, to the extreme in many cases.  They fall in love.  They care for each other.  The fastest way to stop your teen from listening to you is to tell them they don’t “really” love their girlfriend or boyfriend.

And even though I “get” young people, there are still many things about them I don’t understand.  Many things really haven’t changed from when I was a teen and young adult, (drinking, partying, hanging out with friends, staying up too late,  driving too fast, making reckless decisions, falling in and out of love) but there are also quite a few things that are different (technology, technology, technology). And this! This trend that I have seen for a few years, mainly among young males, although I have seen a few females engaging in this behavior as well. What is it?

Sagging their pants!

This is behavior I just don’t get.  I mean, really, I just don’t understand why they do that.  I can’t even tell you how many times I have wanted to walk up to the young guys I see on the campus where I attend college classes and say to them, “Listen, I know I am a middle aged white lady who just really doesn’t get it, but could you please tell me what it is that goes through your head when you get dressed in the morning, and choose to put on your pants, and then belt them around your thighs?”

What is attractive about this?:
sag pants                                                        Is this sexy????

Ridiculous

Ridiculous

I am a gal who wears my pants at the appropriate place on her body.  Which for a plump, middle aged woman is waist high or thereabouts.  No low riders for me……..no ma’am.  I have a hard enough time keeping the muffin top under control as it is.

But back to the matter at hand…which is why do young men wear their pants so low?  Do you remember the old Letterman top 10 bit?  Well I have developed my own list of:

Why do young folks sag their pants? My top 10 reasons!

10:  They just have too much junk in their pants (i.e. well endowed) and they need more room for things to “spread out”, shall we say….

9. They have just spent lots of money on VERY cool boxers and want to share their amazing undies with the world.

8. The are working on their arm muscles, and having to reach down and hitch up their pants every two steps while they are walking is a mini workout.

7. They have a new amazing belt, and think if they belt their pants around their thighs, you will have more opportunity to see it.

6. There was a super clearance sale at the Big and Tall shop, and they just couldn’t pass up a good bargain, even if the pants are three sizes too big…

5. They received hand me downs from a much larger person, and just couldn’t refuse accepting and wearing them.

4. They have recently lost LOTS of weight and therefore their pants don’t fit properly anymore, and constantly fall down.

3. They have decided they are taking a stand on running, they are just NOT going to do it, hence the low pants…(you can’t run in those things even if you needed to.) People who need to make a fast getaway do NOT wear saggy britches…….Just sayin’……

2. They have decided to boost the economy in their later years by ruining their hips now (have you seen the wide stance walk they have to use to move in their way too big pants), so they can spend money later on things like walkers, canes, etc. to get around.

and the number 1 reason men wear their pants low:

1. They are overheated and just need the butt and nut air conditioning…….

air flow

air flow

I have to say that I did do some research on this topic, (so I could point out to my sons where it really started), and found that the long held truth that this is about men showing their sexual availability is WRONG and is just a myth. The myth is that this started in prisons so men could show they were “available” for some “attention”. NOT TRUE!   However, the style is related to prison garb, which is usually too large for inmates and they are not allowed belts, so they have to constantly hitch up their pants.  Then some hip hop and rap artists took on the style as their own, and young men, (particularly young urban men) started copying the rappers they admired. Some cities have banned the style, and at my son’s high school “sagging” is not allowed, and you can be sent home if you can’t conform to the dress code.

And who can forget General Larry Platt:

So youth of America, listen to the General!!

The test for those who think they aren’t Privileged

So I have been talking about privilege for many years.  I have gotten into arguments on Facebook and Twitter about privilege.  People almost always come back with (particularly white heterosexual males): “I am not privileged.  I have had to struggle”
Ummmm, okay, so privilege is not about whether or not you have had to struggle in your life.  It is about how society in general perceives you and judges you with regards to things like your gender, sexual orientation, race and financial status.
Donald Trump is about to be inaugurated this morning, and I find it incredibly worrisome! I find his choices for Cabinet members worrisome. How did we get here? I think it is because of some people in White America who don’t understand how privileged they really are, even though they think they aren’t. So I think it is important for those of us who are white to take this privilege test so we can understand better exactly what privilege is for ourselves!
 So, How much Privilege do you really have?
Please feel free to share your number (if you are comfortable) in the comments on the blog so it becomes more apparent to all how privilege works.
privilege-definition
Give your self one point for every comment you can say yes to: (I added the stuff in Italics)
1.  I am white.
2.  I have never been discriminated against because of my skin color.
3.  I have never been the only person of my race in a room.
4.  I have never been mocked for my accent.
5.  I have never been told I am attractive “for my race.”
6.  I have never been a victim of violence because of my race.
7.  have never been called a racial slur.
8. I have never been told I “sound white.”
9.  A stranger has never asked to touch my hair, or asked if it is real.
10. I am heterosexual.
11. I have never lied about my sexuality.
12. I never had to “come out.”
13. I never doubted my parents’ acceptance of my sexuality.
14. I have never been called “fag.”
15. I have never been called “dyke.”
16. I have never been called a “fairy,” or any other derogatory slur for homosexuals.
17. I have never tried to hide my sexuality.
18. I am always comfortable with P.D.A. with my partner in public.
19. I have never pretended to be “just friends” with my significant other.
20. I have never been ostracized by my religion for my sexual orientation.
21. I have never been told I would “burn in hell” for my sexual orientation.
22. I have never been told that my sexuality is “just a phase.”
23. I have never been violently threatened because of my sexuality.
24. I am a man.
25. I feel comfortable in the gender I was born as.
26. I still identify as the gender I was born in.
27. I have never tried to change my gender.
28. I have never been denied an opportunity because of my gender.
29. I make more money than my professional counterparts of a different gender.
30. I have never felt unsafe because of my gender.
31. I have never been catcalled.
32. I have never been sexually harassed or assaulted.
33. I have never been raped.
34. I work in a salaried job.
35. My family and I have never lived below the poverty line.
36. I don’t have any student loans.
37. I have never gone to bed hungry.
38. I have never been homeless.
39. My parents (or someone else) pay some of my bills.
40. My parents (or someone else) pay all of my bills.
41. I don’t rely on public transportation.
42. I buy new clothes at least once a month.
43. I have never done my taxes myself.
44. I have never felt poor.
45. I have never had to worry about making rent.
46. I have never worked as a waiter, barista, bartender, or salesperson.
47. I have had an unpaid internship.
48. I have had multiple unpaid internships.
49. I went to summer camp.
50. I went to private school.
51. I graduated high school.
52. I went to an elite college.
53. I graduated college.
54. My parents (or someone else or the VA) paid (at least some of) my tuition.
55. I had a car in high school.
56. I’ve never had a roommate.
57. I’ve always had cable or Direct TV
58. I have traveled internationally.(not military service)
59. I travel internationally at least once a year.(again not for military service)
60. I studied abroad.
61. I’ve never skipped a meal to save money.
62. I don’t know what “Sallie Mae” is. (Or know what it is but have never had to use it)
63. I spent Spring Breaks abroad.
64. I have frequent flier miles.
65. My parents are heterosexual.
66. My parents are both alive.
67. My parents are still married. (or would be if they were alive)
68. I do not have any physical disabilities.
69. I do not have any social disabilities.
70. I do not have any learning disabilities.
71. I have never had an eating disorder.
72. I have never been depressed.
73. I have never considered suicide.
74. I have never attempted suicide.
75. I have never taken medication for my mental health.
76. I can afford medication if/when I need it.(and have a co-pay I CAN afford, even if I think it is too high)
77. I have never been told I’m overweight or “too skinny.”
78. I have never felt overweight or underweight or “too skinny.”
79. I have never been shamed for my body type.
80. I consider myself to be physically attractive.
81. I can afford a therapist.
82. I’ve used prescription drugs recreationally.
83. I have never had an addiction.
84. I have never been shamed for my religious beliefs.
85. I have never been violently threatened for my religious beliefs.
86. I have never been violently attacked for my religious beliefs.
87. There is a place of worship for my religion in my town.
88. I have never lied about my ethnicity as self-defense.
89. I have never lied about my religion as self-defense.
90. All my jobs have been accommodating of my religious practices.
91. I am not nervous in airport security lines.
92. I have never heard this statement: “You have been randomly selected for secondary passport control.”
93. I have never been called a terrorist.
94. Nobody has ever tried to “save” me for my religious beliefs, or my sexual orientation
95. I have never been cyber-bullied for any of my identities.
96. I was not bullied as a child for any of my identities.
97. I have never tried to distance myself from any of my identities.
98. I have never been self-conscious about any of my identities.
99. I have never questioned any of my identities.
100.  I feel privileged because of the identities I was born with
I originally thought I scored a 30, but I actually scored a 31.  Which is a bit better but not by much!
I believe my score is only 30 because as a JEWISH, WOMAN in a SAME GENDERED relationship who has also struggled financially as a SINGLE MOM, I cannot get as many points as if I could remove one of those labels.
This also brings up intersectionality.  Look how many words in the above sentence  are bold.  I could also add OVERWEIGHT to those categories……I have many “adjectives” that describe me…. that is what intersectionality is in a nut shell.  We are many things, not just one, and each one of those adjectives, (or intersections) forms how we view ourselves and how society as a whole views us.
Please feel free to comment about how this made you feel if you are comfortable.  Until we start having a discussion about privilege it will be more difficult to remove these labels that cause separation in our society.
#womenslives  #blacklivesmatter

Mean people suck

So I have not always been the nicest person, and have done mean things in my past, and maybe that is why I feel as though I get back plenty of meanness from people. And maybe I am not alone, maybe everyone deals with mean people on a daily basis, and maybe I am just feeling more sensitive right now?? I am not sure, but dang I seem to be meeting mean people on a regular basis these days. And you know what? Mean People SUCK!

The blessing in that, is I am also meeting loads of nice people too! And I will readily and happily admit that the nice ones far outnumber the mean ones, but gosh those mean ones can just ruin my day!! Have you ever been humming along and having a great day and then someone does something mean, such as cut you off in traffic (I have had so many near misses to getting in accidents),  splash a puddle of water on you as you wait at a street corner (that happened to me one day as I was heading to class at ODU),  or just have a cross word or something snippy to say when you speak to them. (this always amazes me).

I work in a customer service industry and I will say that customers can just really be nasty. I guess maybe they are having a bad day and want to take it out on someone, however, that just really isn’t right!

So I will strive every day to NOT be a mean person. I will say without question that I am ABSOLUTELY sure that I will have mean thoughts, but to say them or act on them will NOT happen.  I am about making 2017 be a positive year for me and my family and those I come in contact with, and NOT a negative year!

At the end of 2017 I want to look back and see that it has been a year of positivity and abundance no matter what we have to deal with that would want to move us in the opposite direction from that.

I choose a life of abundance and not a life of scarcity! I choose a year of POSITIVE reactions and not a year of NEGATIVE reactions.