My son thinks his Gay mom is Cool!!

When I first started dating my lovely partner Karol, we had to keep everything a secret.  First of all, she was still in the military and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was alive and well.  Plus I had just gotten divorced and was unwilling to let my children know I was in a relationship with her.  They knew we were best friends, and I decided to leave it at that.

Then we bought a house together and we decided it was best for each of us to have our own bedroom.  She was about to retire, but I had not yet “told” my kids and she had not told hers.  We did sleep together most nights, but actually lived in our own bedrooms for the most part.  It was an interesting time.  Neither of us was “out” professionally but we were to our close friends.  Looking back on it I think we were crazy, but it worked at the time, and I suppose it made things easier for the children to get used to living with new people.

We decided after living together for a year we would tell the children that we were actually a couple.  Of course they all said, “Um, we have known forever Mom.”  They were okay with me being in a relationship with a woman, and that made me happy.  We had actually prepared ourselves for the worst and realized we may need to sell our house and live apart if our kids freaked out.  Our number one priority was the children and how they would feel about our relationship.

Because I had been in a “traditional” marriage when my children were young I never forced the issue about them saying anything to any adults or their friends.  I always introduced Bluebell as my “friend”, and they did the same.  They called her “my mom’s friend” if talking about her to others.

At some point my oldest son (age 15 now) began telling people his mom was “bi”.  Apparently people his age thought that was cool and I scored him some “cool points”.  I suppose technically I am “bi” in his mind since I was married to his dad and am now with a woman.  I don’t consider myself bisexual. I consider myself a lesbian, but I never pushed that issue with my son.  Whatever he was comfortable with worked for me.

My son is now in 10th grade and is very comfortable with Bluebell and with our relationship.

However, I was still surprised when she came to me a few weeks ago and brought me a paper that I saw had my son’s handwriting on it.  “Uh oh”, I said.  “Is this going to be bad?”  She said, “Just read it.”  She had seen this paper lying on the dining room table near my son’s book bag and picked it up and read it.  I held it in my hand and braced myself.

He had an assignment to write about himself and his family for his English class.  In his own handwriting I read, “I found out a few years ago my mom is in a same gendered relationship.  I think that is cool. My mom is cool.”

I cried tears of joy.  My son thinks I am cool! That is a pretty amazing thing for a mom of a teenager to be considered cool by her kid!

My son thinks I am cool!!!

My enormous grocery bill

I have kids.

I have three boys.

I have three teenaged boys.

They eat.

A LOT!

Most people go to the grocery store on a weekly basis.  Their grocery store is the Piggly Wiggly or the Food Lion, or Grand Union, or Farm Fresh…you know a regular grocery store.  Not me.  My grocery store is BJ’s, Costco, or Sam’s Club. You know, the huge wholesale clubs.  That is my weekly grocery shopping store.  I need to buy things in bulk.

For example, last week I bought a beautiful 6 pound London Broil.  I put it in the oven with some roasted garlic tomatoes and served it with macaroni and cheese (a family favorite), and mixed vegetables. When the kitchen was cleaned there was a small piece (about 6 ounces of meat) to be put away in the fridge for “leftover” night.  “Well”, you might say, “there are 5 of you eating, I could see that.”

I might agree with that also if  Bluebell and I had actually participated in eating the beef with the boys.  In fact, she and I are not big beef eaters, so we had grilled chicken.  That means that my three sons ate over 5 pounds of meat for dinner.  Besides the fact that their bellies must have been totally weighed down by all that beef, is the bigger concern of how eating all that beef affects my grocery bill……

Besides BJ’s, I also shop my local Harris Teeter almost weekly.  I am an E-Vic member, so I get weekly emails with their specials.  They very often have cereal, steaks, chips, bacon, etc as a “buy one get one free” item.  They also frequently have items on sale for “buy two get three free”  I have saved over $1500.00 already this year.  Yes that is one thousand five hundred dollars.  1 5 0 0……not 1 5 0.  I buy whatever is on sale that I need, and nothing more.  It is pretty bad when you walk into your local grocery store and the cashiers and management staff know you by name, and also know the fact that you are feeding three teenaged boys.

Thank god Bluebell has a great job as a Civil Service employee and we are both retired from the military and receive pensions.  Otherwise I might have to get another full time job just to feed my boys.

It is possible I have some passive aggressive bones in my body, and somewhere deep inside me I must have some subconscious resentment about my enormous grocery bill, because I feel the need to get back at my kids through food.
For example, I do my grocery shopping after lunch, so I can time it just right to get home right as their buses have dropped them off from school.  I require them to help me carry the groceries into the house, and then because apparently I must be a descendent of a torturer from the Inquisition (according to my kids), I make them carry the cat litter and feminine hygiene products up to my bathroom.  (Just imagine all of the groans I get about THAT……. it does my heart good)

I have to say though, that I was impressed my kids knew what the Inquisition was. So instead of  being angry at their comment, I was all, “Wow, you learned about that in school? I am so proud of you!  So glad you are using your education…even if it is to malign your mother.  Oh, you don’t know what that means, well, look it up sweetie…..”

 

So while my boys are still teenagers, I will be forced to continue to work, because as hard as I have tried, I just cannot get them to stop eating…….and don’t think I haven’t tried……..because I have……just sayin’………

Help I can’t find my son’s bedroom floor

I recently wrote about my son Joe Cool, who suffered his first break up back in February.  The Ginger really stomped on his heart, and he was crushed. She started dating another boy with in a week or so and that just added more injury to my poor Joe Cool’s heartbreak!  Since then things for poor Joe Cool have gone from bad to worse.

I have always done the best I can with my boys.  I am NOT a perfect mother by any means, and I have made TONS of mistakes.  However, I have always been very good about talking with my kids, and explaining things before I lose my cool, and I have always tried to reason with them.  I was always able to reason with Joe Cool, that is, until he became a teenager….

That doesn’t surprise me too much.  Joe Cool is not what you would call an “responsible” teenager.  He does not like to do his chores.  He does not like to clean up his room. He does not like to do his homework.  He does not like to take the trash cans out on Wednesdays.  He does not like to put his clothes away.  He does not like to wash his clothes.

Joe Cools room

Which leads any sane parent to the question:  so what DOES Joe Cool like to do???  Well, the answer to that is easy.  He likes to text his friends on his iPod and play Call of Duty on the PS3.  That is about it.  Oh, and sit in his room and play his guitar.

You might be wondering how all of that “does not” attitude affects our household?  I will tell you it affects my relationship with Joe Cool in a negative way.  I never wanted to be “that” mom.  You know the one.  The one who yells at their kids, and says bad words, and sounds like a screaming Mimi. Well, I guess that is a misnomer.  I have not become a screaming Mimi, I have become a screaming mommy!

Joe Cools room, a different angle

I wonder what my neighbors think.  I wonder if they can hear me when the windows are closed.  I am sure they can when the windows are open.  I am at my wits end with this kid.  I have grounded him, taken away the PS3, taken away electronics, yelled, screamed, talked, bribed, begged, cried.  I just don’t know what else to do.  He will be turning 15 tomorrow.  Yes, 15.  For the love of god, he is supposed to get a driving permit in 6 months.  There is NO WAY this kid is ready to get behind the wheel of a car….. especially MY car!

I know there are some people who read this blog who are parents. Some of you may even be the parent of a teenager.  If you are truly lucky you have survived he teenage years, and are parents of a young adult. A responsible young adult.
That is my dream.  My dream is to be a parent of a young adult who is mature, kind, caring, considerate, productive, responsible and NOT living in my house.  Is that really so much to ask for???

If you have successfully traversed the teenage years with your kid, I am open to ANY advice you can give me!

Popsicles and alcohol… mommy’s little helper.

If you are a parent to a kid younger than 13, I will be praying for you!!!!!  And if nothing else, I may end up going back to the idea of pudding shots turned into popsicles.  Summer is right around the corner.  So if you see me eating a homemade chocolate pudding pop, you know why.