6 Ways to Help Senior Parents Without Affecting Your Own Family Life

You’re probably reading this because your parents are seniors, and you’ve noticed they are struggling with certain everyday household chores or activities.

You love them and will happily help them where you can, but at the same time, you don’t want to disrupt your own family life. It’s a situation that many grown-up children of aging parents find themselves in, and it’s sometimes challenging to resolve.

There are some steps you can take to offer as much help as possible to your parents without causing problems with your family life at home. Take a look at these ideas to get started:

1. Determine Each Parent’s Needs

Firstly, it makes sense to figure out the needs of each parent. For example, one of your parents may not have any specific requirements, whereas the other may have mobility issues. You should also look at how much support each parent gets presently.

If you live far away from your parents, it might not be practical to help with some things due to the geographical distance between you all. However, if you happen to live in the same area, it could be possible to provide some daily help like grocery shopping.

2. Take Into Account Your Own Needs

You might be younger and more able than your parents, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t without your own limitations. That’s why you need to take into account your own needs. For instance, you might have a physical disability that prevents you from lifting heavy items.

In such scenarios, you may not have the strength to help your parents with specific tasks like gardening or lifting them in and out of the bathtub.

You’ll also need to consider feelings; do you all have the type of relationship where negative feelings don’t appear if you all spend a lot of time together?

3. Include Your Parents in Decisions

Your parents need help with certain aspects of their daily lives to remain independent. What they don’t want is someone to make all decisions about their lifestyles for them. That’s why you must include your parents in all crucial decisions.

For example, you don’t want to force them to live in a nursing home, especially one notorious for ill-treatment of their clients.

In such cases, you’d regret your choice, particularly as you didn’t ask your parents if it was the right option for them, nor did you do any proper research. Plus, you’d need to hire a nursing home abuse attorney to help your parents claim financial compensation.

4. Review Their Financial Situation

The ugly truth about helping aging parents with their daily lives is that some aspects of help will require money. That’s because they’d need to pay for things like home modifications and adaptions, nursing staff, and anything else to support their needs.

Plus, your parents will still need to pay for expenses like groceries, household bills, and rent or a mortgage. The good news is some seniors are eligible for financial help from the government, so it’s worth looking into how that can help as well.

5. Ensure Their Home Is Safe

Let’s face it: almost everyone’s home has safety hazards, yet householders are aware of them and know to avoid them. The trouble is, that’s not so easy for seniors that have mobility issues, for example, and aren’t steady on their feet.

One of the ways you can help your aging parents is by carrying out a risk assessment of their home. Where in their home are your parents likely to injure themselves? What steps must get taken to diminish or remove the risk of injuries?

Once you’ve done that, you can help them take steps to improve safety in their home. For instance, you might install grab bars in their bathroom, or you might have some loose carpet replaced.

6. Improve Communications With Them

Your parents know they can contact you by calling you on the phone. But, it makes sense to add additional communications methods. For instance, you could help them buy and use mobile phones to contact you wherever they are – even if they aren’t at home.

You could even help them get a simple to use tablet device to make or receive video calls. Plus, if they’re open to the idea, they could have wearable medical alert devices in case of emergencies.

Conclusion

The above are just a few ways that you can help senior parents without causing problems for yourself and your family. The help you can provide and the solutions you can offer will ultimately depend on your personal circumstances and your level of commitment.

 

Basic Invite Business Cards Are Amazing, NOT Basic

As a person who owns TWO small businesses I will say that without a doubt one of the things I always need to have on hand is business cards. I attend Networking events at least once a week, and always hand at least one to clients for client referrals. All they have to do is write their name on the card and they get a discount for every referral they send to my Sugar and Skin Spa. So as you can imagine I go through them pretty quickly. There are certain things I require in a business card company and without a doubt Basic Invite meets ALL My needs! I’m telling y’all, Basic Invite business cards are amazing, NOT basic!!

First of all they have over 180 different colors to choose from. WHAT? Yes ma’am, over 180 colors!! Y’all, my favorite color is blue and when I was designing my business card there were over 20 shades of blue to choose. Incredible! With that many choices I can have a completely custom business card and get exactly what I envision in my head!

They also have many themes and professions to choose from. They even had a category for Estheticians. You know most companies can’t even spell that correctly, but Basic Invite not only spells it correctly, they have gorgeous business card design templates for not only Estheticians, but all types of Beauty Professionals. Here are just a few samples of the amazing designs you can choose from.

Another thing I really liked about this company is that they have custom samples. That means that I can order a printed sample before I place my final order. That way I can see EXACTLY how my business card will look when printed in case I need to make any changes or tweak anything. So when I place my final order I can be assured

I will get exactly what I want. No worries about having a problem and then waiting for a reprint. Basic Invite has that covered!

So when I designed my business card it was super simple to make a business card with a logo. I just had to upload the photo I wanted to use. You can also upload photos from Flickr and SmugMug. The photo I loaded was too big and the system was smart enough to tell me that. I have used other companies that were less clear about margins. Basic Invite was very clear and even required me to button to ensure I knew there was a problem with my photo.

Business cards aren’t all you can create on Basic Invite either. You can make invitations, holiday cards, stationery, event announcements, and much more. You can embellish cards with different colored foils, and can even make clear cards! Awesome.

If you are going to get married, Basic Invite is a one stop shop. They can do everything for you, including letting you make a FREE website so you can collect addresses, manage RSVP’s, and share all of the important details of your wedding with guests!

Honestly just check out this website! There is so much on there and you will receive your order in 5 business days. I don’t know what company you have been using your business card and other paper needs, but you need to stop using them and switch to Basic Invite. I know I am!!!

Oh and they have 15% off EVERYTHING until the end of the month!!! Just use code 15FF51.

How Should Parents Deal With Teenage Heartbreak

My oldest bio kid is a moody person.  He alternates between sullen, annoyed and morose.  Every now and then, we have a rare glimpse of a smile.  Although I will say his mood has improved as he has gotten a little older.  He just graduated high school, and he seems happier. A little……

I was recently thinking about the times in his teen years when he has been at his mopiest, and every time his dark mood has somehow involved a girl.  Usually it is the worst right after a girl breaks up with him.  Which seems to always be how his relationships end.  I don’t think he has ever broken up with a girl, he always seems to be the one who is dumped.

So I wondered why he is always the dumpee and not the dumper.  Surely I talked to him about relationships.  I know I did.  When he would let me.  I did my best to teach him how to be kind and compassionate.  To respect the boundaries of his partner, to be respectful, and try to give 50/50 in a relationship.  Of course I can talk and talk, but he will only take in what he wants to take in.

And I will say that I have seen improvement in his interactions with females.  His girlfriends seem happier with him with each new girl he dates.  I think maybe he is learning how to be a better boyfriend with each new relationship.  Three girls ago he would have her visit at our house and he would proceed to play PS3 games she had no interest in while she just sat there.  That relationship didn’t last too long. Hmmmmm, I wonder why not??

The next one didn’t last too long either (thank goodness).  I was happy to see her go because she just made me uncomfortable.  She was a little too “touchy feely”, in my opinion and many times when I was making my “check ups” I would find her laying down on the couch with her head in his lap.  Maybe not so bad, but they were 16 and 15…a little young for that in my opinion.  She moved on pretty quickly, I guess I made to many “checks” when they were at my house…..not sure….

I really liked the next girl.  She came into our house to visit and interacted with the family in a friendly, open manner.  She actually spoke to the grownups, and interacted with my younger son as well.  She was funny, she was smart, she was very pretty, but alas she didn’t last that long either.  They dated for about 6 months.  A mutual friend of theirs told me that she broke up with him because she was ready to move into more “adult” physical relations and my son wasn’t…….whew…….dodged that bullet…….for now at least.

So, how should parents deal with teenage heartbreak?

So over the years I have had to deal with teenaged relationships and the heartbreak that follows when they end.  My advice to parents dealing with this is to give the kid a day or so, and then cautiously approach them……in the same manner you would approach a wounded animal……softly, slowly and calmly.

I NEVER NEVER said anything about more “fish in the sea” or how his feelings “weren’t real”.  I have always believed that teenage love feelings are JUST as strong as adult love feelings.  They aren’t as mature as adult feelings, but they are definitely just as strong, if not stronger with those raging hormones and all…..

My lines after bio kids heartbreaks have been things like, “why don’t you hang out with your squad instead”, and even “give it some time and it will get better.”  He usually perks up…a bit.  Especially when I point out all of his cool points and remind him that “karma is a bitch”, and one day he would be on top of the world and the girl might not.

I always tried to explain to him that his feelings are valid and that yes it sucks, but in time he will feel better.  I have encouraged him to invite friends over to play video games and have promised to feed them pizza and brownies.  I have tried to keep him busy to keep his mind off of his broken heart, and it works at times. Sometimes he still feels great pain for awhile. Each break up is a little different for him, as he matures and gets closer to adulthood.

I remember being a teenager and all of the drama, angst and difficulty it brought.  I remember having my heart broken.  I remember being in love.  I am one of those adults who believes teens can love each other and be in love.  Granted it may not be a mature love, but I believe it is love nonetheless.  Think about it those of you who are naysayers….your teen knows how to love you, and family members. So they know how to love.  Why can’t they have those same deep feelings for a boyfriend or girlfriend their own age?????

I shared with him the story of my “first love” and how that boy had broken my heart and dumped me for a girl named Jill.  (Those of you who went to high school with me get three guesses who I am talking about).  I told him how I had my “revenge” when after I graduated I ran into First Love boy and he wanted to date me again.  I had the karmic joy of telling him, “dream on buddy.”  That felt good.  (He liked that story, he even had a little gleam in his eye.)  His response was, “Yeah, when I am an Aerospace Engineer making the big bucks, she will be sorry.”  I did NOT dissuade him, who am I to steal his dream?????  (Ummmm, if she even remembers you dude, but okaaayy)…..

But the bottom line is that teenage heartbreak and young adult heartbreak are very real to our kids, and we should not discount it.  Just allow them to feel their feelings, and encourage and love them the best way you can.  This too shall pass….