The test for those who think they aren’t Privileged

So I have been talking about privilege for many years.  I have gotten into arguments on Facebook and Twitter about privilege.  People almost always come back with (particularly white heterosexual males): “I am not privileged.  I have had to struggle”
Ummmm, okay, so privilege is not about whether or not you have had to struggle in your life.  It is about how society in general perceives you and judges you with regards to things like your gender, sexual orientation, race and financial status.
Donald Trump is about to be inaugurated this morning, and I find it incredibly worrisome! I find his choices for Cabinet members worrisome. How did we get here? I think it is because of some people in White America who don’t understand how privileged they really are, even though they think they aren’t. So I think it is important for those of us who are white to take this privilege test so we can understand better exactly what privilege is for ourselves!
 So, How much Privilege do you really have?
Please feel free to share your number (if you are comfortable) in the comments on the blog so it becomes more apparent to all how privilege works.
privilege-definition
Give your self one point for every comment you can say yes to: (I added the stuff in Italics)
1.  I am white.
2.  I have never been discriminated against because of my skin color.
3.  I have never been the only person of my race in a room.
4.  I have never been mocked for my accent.
5.  I have never been told I am attractive “for my race.”
6.  I have never been a victim of violence because of my race.
7.  have never been called a racial slur.
8. I have never been told I “sound white.”
9.  A stranger has never asked to touch my hair, or asked if it is real.
10. I am heterosexual.
11. I have never lied about my sexuality.
12. I never had to “come out.”
13. I never doubted my parents’ acceptance of my sexuality.
14. I have never been called “fag.”
15. I have never been called “dyke.”
16. I have never been called a “fairy,” or any other derogatory slur for homosexuals.
17. I have never tried to hide my sexuality.
18. I am always comfortable with P.D.A. with my partner in public.
19. I have never pretended to be “just friends” with my significant other.
20. I have never been ostracized by my religion for my sexual orientation.
21. I have never been told I would “burn in hell” for my sexual orientation.
22. I have never been told that my sexuality is “just a phase.”
23. I have never been violently threatened because of my sexuality.
24. I am a man.
25. I feel comfortable in the gender I was born as.
26. I still identify as the gender I was born in.
27. I have never tried to change my gender.
28. I have never been denied an opportunity because of my gender.
29. I make more money than my professional counterparts of a different gender.
30. I have never felt unsafe because of my gender.
31. I have never been catcalled.
32. I have never been sexually harassed or assaulted.
33. I have never been raped.
34. I work in a salaried job.
35. My family and I have never lived below the poverty line.
36. I don’t have any student loans.
37. I have never gone to bed hungry.
38. I have never been homeless.
39. My parents (or someone else) pay some of my bills.
40. My parents (or someone else) pay all of my bills.
41. I don’t rely on public transportation.
42. I buy new clothes at least once a month.
43. I have never done my taxes myself.
44. I have never felt poor.
45. I have never had to worry about making rent.
46. I have never worked as a waiter, barista, bartender, or salesperson.
47. I have had an unpaid internship.
48. I have had multiple unpaid internships.
49. I went to summer camp.
50. I went to private school.
51. I graduated high school.
52. I went to an elite college.
53. I graduated college.
54. My parents (or someone else or the VA) paid (at least some of) my tuition.
55. I had a car in high school.
56. I’ve never had a roommate.
57. I’ve always had cable or Direct TV
58. I have traveled internationally.(not military service)
59. I travel internationally at least once a year.(again not for military service)
60. I studied abroad.
61. I’ve never skipped a meal to save money.
62. I don’t know what “Sallie Mae” is. (Or know what it is but have never had to use it)
63. I spent Spring Breaks abroad.
64. I have frequent flier miles.
65. My parents are heterosexual.
66. My parents are both alive.
67. My parents are still married. (or would be if they were alive)
68. I do not have any physical disabilities.
69. I do not have any social disabilities.
70. I do not have any learning disabilities.
71. I have never had an eating disorder.
72. I have never been depressed.
73. I have never considered suicide.
74. I have never attempted suicide.
75. I have never taken medication for my mental health.
76. I can afford medication if/when I need it.(and have a co-pay I CAN afford, even if I think it is too high)
77. I have never been told I’m overweight or “too skinny.”
78. I have never felt overweight or underweight or “too skinny.”
79. I have never been shamed for my body type.
80. I consider myself to be physically attractive.
81. I can afford a therapist.
82. I’ve used prescription drugs recreationally.
83. I have never had an addiction.
84. I have never been shamed for my religious beliefs.
85. I have never been violently threatened for my religious beliefs.
86. I have never been violently attacked for my religious beliefs.
87. There is a place of worship for my religion in my town.
88. I have never lied about my ethnicity as self-defense.
89. I have never lied about my religion as self-defense.
90. All my jobs have been accommodating of my religious practices.
91. I am not nervous in airport security lines.
92. I have never heard this statement: “You have been randomly selected for secondary passport control.”
93. I have never been called a terrorist.
94. Nobody has ever tried to “save” me for my religious beliefs, or my sexual orientation
95. I have never been cyber-bullied for any of my identities.
96. I was not bullied as a child for any of my identities.
97. I have never tried to distance myself from any of my identities.
98. I have never been self-conscious about any of my identities.
99. I have never questioned any of my identities.
100.  I feel privileged because of the identities I was born with
I originally thought I scored a 30, but I actually scored a 31.  Which is a bit better but not by much!
I believe my score is only 30 because as a JEWISH, WOMAN in a SAME GENDERED relationship who has also struggled financially as a SINGLE MOM, I cannot get as many points as if I could remove one of those labels.
This also brings up intersectionality.  Look how many words in the above sentence  are bold.  I could also add OVERWEIGHT to those categories……I have many “adjectives” that describe me…. that is what intersectionality is in a nut shell.  We are many things, not just one, and each one of those adjectives, (or intersections) forms how we view ourselves and how society as a whole views us.
Please feel free to comment about how this made you feel if you are comfortable.  Until we start having a discussion about privilege it will be more difficult to remove these labels that cause separation in our society.
#womenslives  #blacklivesmatter

Mean people suck

So I have not always been the nicest person, and have done mean things in my past, and maybe that is why I feel as though I get back plenty of meanness from people. And maybe I am not alone, maybe everyone deals with mean people on a daily basis, and maybe I am just feeling more sensitive right now?? I am not sure, but dang I seem to be meeting mean people on a regular basis these days. And you know what? Mean People SUCK!

The blessing in that, is I am also meeting loads of nice people too! And I will readily and happily admit that the nice ones far outnumber the mean ones, but gosh those mean ones can just ruin my day!! Have you ever been humming along and having a great day and then someone does something mean, such as cut you off in traffic (I have had so many near misses to getting in accidents),  splash a puddle of water on you as you wait at a street corner (that happened to me one day as I was heading to class at ODU),  or just have a cross word or something snippy to say when you speak to them. (this always amazes me).

I work in a customer service industry and I will say that customers can just really be nasty. I guess maybe they are having a bad day and want to take it out on someone, however, that just really isn’t right!

So I will strive every day to NOT be a mean person. I will say without question that I am ABSOLUTELY sure that I will have mean thoughts, but to say them or act on them will NOT happen.  I am about making 2017 be a positive year for me and my family and those I come in contact with, and NOT a negative year!

At the end of 2017 I want to look back and see that it has been a year of positivity and abundance no matter what we have to deal with that would want to move us in the opposite direction from that.

I choose a life of abundance and not a life of scarcity! I choose a year of POSITIVE reactions and not a year of NEGATIVE reactions.

Can Trump change once he is the President?

Every day I listen to National Public Radio. Sometimes I tune in to Fox News channel on my XM radio. Sometimes I listen to CNN on my radio. I do my best to get news from different perspectives. I am in my car a lot driving and so I have time to sit and listen to the news.

First things first. I was very worried when Trump won. Although I listened to a very close friend who told me not to worry because he was smart enough to “surround himself with smart people even though he is an idiot”, and worried just a little less. Because I value her opinion, and she is older and usually wiser than me I have tried to pay attention to the confirmation hearings so far. So what I have found is that I am even more confused than I was before.

The one thing I can be sure of (based upon actions so far)  is the President-elect Trump will always stay true to the from of what we have always seen and heard from him. From his days of bashing Rosie O’Donnell, to saying he doesn’t want  a “Mexican judge” on his lawsuit, to the man I always believed to be an egomaniac, and quite frankly not very nice. I used to watch “The Apprentice”, and I was always amused by his way of talking to people and thought his ego was a little too big even then. (and when I say I watched it, I mean I watched it back in the beginning, in 2004 when the not so nice Omarosa was on and subsequently fired). Interestingly,  apparently Omarosa has a job in the White House after Trump takes office.

omarosa1

I just feel that he is who he is. The mean tweets, the outbursts, the inability to listen well, the ego. I am not sure he will be able to take his personality down a notch or two after he takes office. I mean he is no spring chicken…. he is 70 years old………I find it unlikely that a person of that age will change who he is at his core and be able to behave differently than what we have witnessed over the many years he has been in the spotlight….

So I am worried. I just don’t believe he will act one way on January 19 and then a different way on January 21st. The situation with Russia worries me, his way of speaking to people worries me especially when it comes to foreign relations. And I am concerned about the repeal of the ACA without something better to replace it with. I am always hopeful that things will work out okay, but to be honest, I am having a hard time being hopeful.  So many people in this country are scared and don’t know how to feel about what may come.

trump1

So for now, I will just wait and see before I make any judgements and I pray that I am absolutely wrong and once he becomes our 45th President he will change and things will not get worse in this country. I never bought into the “make America Great AGAIN” slogan because I think there is so much about America that is already great and has always been great. I have traveled to other countries, and while ours has its faults, it is definitely one of the best places to live in this world!

Crossing my fingers and ever hopeful that Trump can change his ways when he becomes President!